Reaching Across the Aisle

I am a proud veteran of the US Army's 7th Infantry Division, Light, a Ronald Reagan Republican, and a card-carrying member of the vast, right-wing conspiracy. There are shades of grey in my political opinions, but for the most part I stand the line with the Republican Party. That's why it comes as no small surprise to me that I am so enamored with my current girlfriend. She's a liberal democrat, with a cat named Mao, who thinks that my right wing, meat eating, military t-shirt wearing, SUV driving lifestyle is anathema to all that is good and pure in the world. In fact, she is in direct opposition to 90% of that which I hold dear. Believe me when I say that Matlin and Carville have nothing on us, and yet, something about us works surprisingly well.

In the current political climate it is not unusual to have friends and family on separate sides of nearly every issue. Heated discussions erupt over dinner tables and through closed bathroom doors all across the country, probably more often than any of us like to think. Recently, my inamorata and I were strolling lazily down South Street in Philadelphia when a long-haired, DNC t-shirt and Birkenstock wearing, self professed Socialist approached us about donating to the Cause. Apparently, we republicans, who are responsible for all of the world's ills, need to be combated at the grass-roots level, and this "peaceful warrior" was part of the legion sallying forth to do so. I informed him that I was on the opposing team and stepped away, but the communist in my ladylove would not let her pass without at least some street-level commiseration. I watched, with no little amusement, as they decried the malfeasance of the evil republican machine. When she had sympathized enough with her kindred spirit, she grasped my hand in hers and we went upon our merry way.

We have had two more than irate arguments, each of which resulted in one of us refusing to speak to the other. One concerned immigration, and one the veracity of the reasons for going to war in Iraq. I would love to be able to tell you that we found a middle ground, or listened with an open mind to each other's position, but in these cases we did not do much more than fume at each other. In that, we seem to be a nearly perfect microcosm for the country as a whole. There is some overlap of political consideration. After all, 90% of politics is local, but on a wide variety of issues we will seemingly never agree. In my mind this makes her naive to the notion that there are carnivores loose in the world who would do us harm. To her, I am simply a lost, misguided soul.

In the end, for us, it all comes down to good, old-fashioned boy/girl stuff. I love her gentle touch and she swoons at my kiss. She champions me and I hold doors for her. She laughs at my jokes and I listen to her when she speaks, even if it is the bottom of the ninth with two out. She recently received a new credit card and, when they did not have available the emblem for the college where she teaches (yes she is part of academia in addition to everything else), she chose instead the symbol for my first love: the New York Yankees. Lest you think she has somehow come back from the dark side due to me, you should know she has, of late, decided to cheer for France in the World Cup. She even attempted to trick me into drinking Evian last night. In fact, she recently developed the tactic of using t-shirts of mine she finds offensive as sleep wear, assuming that this will cut down on my ability to sport them. I guess she does not realize that seeing her in an "I Love Halliburton" t-shirt, whatever the reason, cheers me to no end.

Life is a strange and wondrous thing. It is fraught with strife and turmoil, beauty and love. It alternately angers and exhilarates me. I am amused and aghast, seemingly every day. Why then should my closest relationship be any different? Seen in the context of life as a whole, shouldn't we all be "sleeping with the opposition", as it were? Isn't close proximity to those who disagree with us the only way to affect change? If we are going to solve any of the problems currently bedeviling the country, do we not have to start with discussions on a personal level? All liberals are socialists, and all socialists are communists, but since my vegetarian (of course) sweetheart was persuaded to eat a BLT (on white bread, no less) for dinner the other night, can a boycott of the hippie bastion of Whole Foods be far behind? So, the end result of dating the other side is bringing them over to the tent where, hopefully, they will stay for barbecue, and who knows, maybe even cast, under protest no doubt, a vote for McCain in '08.