The photo is of L Cpl. Chance Phelps who was killed by enemy fire outside Ar Ramadi, Iraq on 9 April, 2004. He is the subject of HBO's movie Taking Chance. I had resisted watching the movie for several reasons. I mainly resisted because I had absolutely no faith that HBO would treat the subject matter with the dignity it deserved. I was also afraid that HBO would take the opportunity to put in multiple anti-war digs. Then, when uniformly good reviews started coming out I resisted because I was afraid of how it would effect me. The first couple of reasons turned out to be unfounded, and the last was exactly as I knew it would be. All of which is a reason to watch it.
Kevin Bacon plays the part of real-life Lt. Col. Michael Strobl, whose account of the escort was the genesis for the movie. I freely admit that there were multiple occasions when tears literally streamed down my face as I sat watching the movie. It was a pleasant surprise to see America's warriors treated with the reverence they all deserve. It was also moving to see Col. Strobl portrayed as multi-dimensional and not some automaton. There were many times when I was moved by what, to some, would be the inner workings of the military.
In one scene Col. Strobl is told that Chance will stay over-night in a hangar and a taxi has been called to take him to a nearby hotel. Col. Strobl responds that he will spend the night in the hangar with Chance because, "I don't want him to be alone." The airline workers aren't quite sure how to respond, but they understand and do what they can to make the Colonel as comfortable as possible.
In a later scene, Col. Strobl is at a VFW talking to a Korean War Marine. The Colonel tells his fellow Marine of his guilt at not being in Iraq. How he is nearly ashamed that he is safe behind his desk, while men such as Chance are in the fight. The Korean vet tells him that his feelings are unfounded because he had his day for that and what he is doing now is all the more important because of it. The scene resonates with me because I have shared that feeling since both our current wars have commenced. Not a day goes by that I don't feel as if I should be in either Iraq or Afghanistan. No amount of conversation with other veterans can change my mind on that, and I'm fairly certain that Col. Strobl feels likewise. It is a version of survivor's guilt and not a little envy, at least on my part. All I ever wanted was a C.I.B. and there's no way that will ever happen.
Taking Chance made me remember another 19 year old patriot who was killed too young. He was a friend of mine and one of the sweetest people on the planet. We went to Basic and A.I.T. at Ft. Benning, GA together, caroused together and he was killed providing covering fire so that others would live. I know he believed in what he was doing, and that he loved being a soldier. I also know he would not want me to feel guilty that all these years later I am here, while he isn't. I know he would want me to live happily, secure in the knowledge that I did my part. That doesn't make me miss him any less, nor wish that I could trade places with him. I miss my fiend and think of him at least every week.
I never knew L Cpl. Phelps, and have never met Lt. Col. Strobl, but I have known them all my life. I was a soldier at five and will remain one until I die. I hope everyone who has ever worn the uniform sees this movie. I further hope that they all remember their own Chance, for it is through memories that they live on. The movie concludes with a passage that will stay with me forever, "Chance Phelps was wearing his Saint Christopher medal when he was killed on Good Friday. Eight days later, I handed the medallion to his mother. I didn't know Chance before he died. Today, I miss him." - LtCol Michael R. Strobl, USMC (Ret.) Semper Fi Sir, and for what it's worth, though I never knew Chance either I miss him too.
